Saint Basil's Cathedral through the Autumn trees. October, 2006.













The view from our train window of another train across the platform.








Inside the first class coupe. Although you can't see it, this coupe has only two beds instead of the bunks. We never request first class, I think it's just what they had available at the time. We actually prefer second class because it has the four bunks and more space for stuff!

If you click this link http://www.rzd.ru/images/flash/ wait for it to load and the click the green button. It is a really neat site with a tour of the train station starting in Moscow and on to Vladivostock. It's not the same station we take or the same route, but the train is very similar. The way the station looks is similar too!

Only no train I've ever ridden is that nice. It must be the cream of the crop! But it's laid out the same. If you click on the one where you see the attendant stick his head out of his coupe, then scan to the left. That tank looking thing is where you get your boiling water for Chai just FYI.

Make sure your sound is turned up, it sounds JUST LIKE THAT! Memories! The echoey sound of the announcement is so realistic.

On that first platform thing, if you click the attendant outside the train (scroll to the far left) you will hear what I think is the Russian National Anthem.

**A "before" shot of her chipped teeth and gap where the (primary) one was knocked out and is now missing**

She did really well. They only used the Happy Gas and numbing shots. She was so brave, she just laid right down on the table and they explained everything to her as they did things (until she was too woozy to care). They put the gas on her nose, then some earphones with High School Musical playing. First they matched the color of the teeth and fixed them. Then they began the procedure. It took about 25 minutes.

She also needed a Frenulectomy. The frenulum which is that little flappy thing that attaches her upper lip to her gum was too thick and too low. It was interfering with the progress of her two front teeth coming down and together correctly. This was done by using a laser. I couldn't watch during that part. Hubby and I were both in the room with her the whole time. We were on our way home in about 45 minutes total. She has done so well. She said last night that it stung a little bit, and her lip was swollen some. This morning she said it didn't hurt one bit. Her lip was a little more swollen when she woke up, but it's down now. She said it hasn't stung any more all day. We have some antibiotic mouth wash she has to use for 3 days and she has to eat only soft foods until tomorrow. Other than that, it's not been bad at all.

Yesterday afternoon she looked like Goldie Hawn in First Wive's Club after she had her lip collagen injections. It was funny. I tried to take a picture with the puffy lips, but I don't know if it comes across as well as it did in real life.

The teeth look pretty good from what we can see, with the swollen lip, she can't get it up very high for us to look around. She is happy about how smooth they are, poor baby has had sharp front teeth for nearly 3 weeks.

Well, David has posted the best observation of this saying on his and Amy's blog.

What he writes is so true. I wish everyone who knows anyone who is adopting would read this!

I've made an amazing discovery! A couple mornings ago, on Good Morning America there was a lady on from HomeMade Simple who said that you can clean your dishwasher with lemonade!

Our water here leaves this weird reddish residue. The inside of my dishwasher was gross. I've tried scrubbing it with comet; 409 and all other manner of things to no avail. So, I grabbed a packet of Lemonade Kool-Aid at the grocery Monday and ran an empty cycle with the Kool-aid in the soap spot. I am just amazed!! It really worked!

Now, back to your regularly scheduled adoption news . . .oh wait, yeah right - not so much!

Also in the mail today was this:

Our refund check for the tainted 2111 Peanut Butter :o)

I haven't posted in a week??

There has not been one iota of adoption related news, so I just haven't really had anything much to post about. Plus we've been busy with D home for Spring Break.

We went Thursday afternoon to Fire Mountain amusement park in a nearby city and D enjoyed her first experiences of Miniature Golf, Bumper Boats and driving a miniature Go-Cart.

We've got our green on this morning, if not there would be some pinching going on around here!

Hope you all have a wonderful spring day and wear green!

This week was a toughie for me, no doubt about it. But it is so great to know that I have such great friends remembering me and keeping me in their thoughts and prayers.

I don't know. I'm puzzling it over in my mind. Of course, hubby thinks I'm silly to even think it. But I don't know. What's got me thinking this, you ask?

Tuesday at playground time, D fell on the monkey bars and whacked her mouth - hard. The left lateral incisor (next door to the big front tooth) had been just a tiny bit wiggly, but it was knocked out (just hanging by a string she says, so she pulled it out) and her two front teeth, yes, that would be her two brand new big girl front teeth were chipped. We didn't at first realize they were chipped because they are actually still a little wonky looking as they're still growing in.

So, what has this got to do with residual orphanage effects five years later??

She didn't tell anyone.

She just handled it herself. She says she cried real hard and started to go tell the teacher but she decided she could handle it herself. So she just went over and sat on the swing and pulled the tooth out herself. Of course she didn't realize she had chipped the two front teeth as well. After playground time was over, she went to the Sub and told her she had pulled her tooth and needed to go to the nurse.

Now there could be many explanations for this, but I just keep going back to her first year of life, living in an orphanage where even if she did cry, no-one came. It took us months and months before she would cry if she fell down or got hurt. She's just tough - she has always been. I DO think it all goes back to her first year of life.

Another thing is that her regular teacher, who she loves, was not there that afternoon. Maybe she would have told her, someone she knows and trusts. I don't know. She didn't tell the nurse either, just said that she pulled her tooth at playground time and needed a tooth necklace to hold it in (if they lose a tooth at school they get a special necklace to carry it home in so they don't misplace it). It's a very big deal and a little celebrity comes with being a tooth necklace wearer in Kindergarten.

Yesterday morning I called her Dentist and they said come at 1 p.m. so we took D out of school right before lunch because her Pediatric Dentist is an hour away from where we live here in Podunk, and she would need to eat lunch and brush her teeth before we left. D didn't know she was going to be going to the Dentist and her teacher was surprised when the office called for her to send D because she was leaving early.

Her teacher just called me, she didn't even know all this happened. D never told her what had happened and I guess the Playground monitor teacher didn't think it was any big deal, although she had told D's teacher that D went to the nurse for a tooth necklace because she pulled her own tooth at playground time. I had written a longish letter this morning instead of the regular note covering absence. I explained what had happened in the letter. So, D's teacher called a bit ago very surprised that all of this happened.

Hubby and I have both talked to D and told her to always tell a teacher if she is hurt while at school. Especially if there is blood! Her teacher said that she will talk to her about it too. She felt really bad that she had no idea all this had happened, but I explained a bit about D's pain threshold and that I also thought it goes back to that first year of her life in the orphanage.

So, who knows if we're still dealing with that or if it is just D's personality.

Today in Russia (and many other former soviet countries) there is a celebration called International Women's Day. This celebration is always held on 8 March and is one of the official marks of Spring's arrival.

It is sort of a combination of Mother's Day and Valentine's Day rolled into one. Girls are included in the celebration as well.

We were in Russia last year on this day and we took beautiful cakes and chocolates to the women at V's baby home and D's former baby home in celebration of the day. The day is celebrated by the giving of flowers and much dancing and eating of sweets. Our regional representative's husband (with a little help from her ;o) treated us to a special tea on this day last year. We had delicious hot tea, smoked salmon, sausages, cheese, delicious bread and divine Russian chocolates.

That night at the hotel dining room, while we were eating dinner, we witnessed the important role that dancing plays in this holiday's celebration. All the ladies in the room formed a big circle and danced the night away. They encouraged D to join the circle, but she was too shy.

I have found this website which explains the holiday in more detail. It is also a very informative website altogether covering many different aspects of life in Russia.

So, all of you Mommies ( **and Mommies-to-be )of Russian born children, let's celebrate! Bring on the chocolates and dancing. I've already got some beautiful flowers from a special friend!


**edited to say: I didn't intend to leave out the mommies-to-be!

I did really well yesterday. Not one tear.

When I woke up I decided any time I started to dwell on the anniversary I would just tell myself, "enjoy D, focus on D, be thankful for what you have right now."

I pretty much stayed away from the computer. I had to post something though or I felt it was somehow dishonoring to V not to make mention of the day at all, does that make sense??

And I stayed very busy.

• I went to D's school at 9:30 and volunteered with the Book-fair in the library.
• Then when I was finished there, hubby and I went out to lunch.
• After that I came home and straightened my house a bit and then I planted some Dahlia tubors in the front flower bed and fertilized my Gardenia bush in the backyard.
• Then I popped on here REALLY quick and posted my little post about the day and popped right back off.
• After that it was back to the school to pick D up and then to gymnastics.
• I went to WalMart during gymnastics time and then to pick D up again.
• After that we went back to the Book-fair for family night and got several - good - books - for D. She had bought one during her regular library time that morning, but we saw some others we wanted Daddy to buy for us :o).
• We got home and got D's bath and supper and then it was bedtime for D.

After all that I checked a few blogs on my Google Reader (still not my first choice for blog checking, but it'll do in a pinch).

So, all in all I am very proud of myself for how I handled yesterday. I guess I did my freaking out before the day actually got here.

I've got to get up and get busy on my house, being gone all day yesterday, nothing got done around here - that silly maid! She didn't show up again, guess I'll have to do it all myself as usual!!

I can't get the video to show up on my blog, but here is the link to a very special video from Stephen Curtis Chapman's daughter, Shaoey. Please take 2 minutes and 7 seconds to watch it and share it with others!

I just received this recipe through RusCuisine.com. Many times the recipes aren't really "doable", but this one sounds good! I'm just surprised there is no dill in it :o)

Potato soup with meatballs

Meatballs:
2/3 c raw veal
1/2 c bread crumbs
1/2 c milk
2 tbs butter
1 egg white, stifly beaten
salt
pepper

Soup:
3 tbs butter
1 medium onion, finely chopped
6 large potatoes, peeled and diced
Water
2 to 3 c milk
Salt and pepper to taste

Chop or grind the meat and pound into a paste. Cook the bread crumbs and milk until they make a paste. Add the butter, beaten egg white and seasonings along with the meat. Make into small balls with your hands.
Saute the onions in the 1 tablespoon butter in a medium saucepan over medium-high heat until softened. Add potatoes and just enough water to cook, about 1-2 cups. Season lightly with salt. Bring to a boil and add meatballs; cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer until potatoes are tender, about 15 minutes. Add the milk, remaining butter, salt and pepper to taste. Continue to cook over medium heat until hot. You may mash some of the potatoes to slightly thicken the soup.

Bon appetit,Olga Timokhina

Oh my, please go and give Joe and Dawn some support and please pray for them. They're having a very rough time in Kazakhstan right now.

Thanks so much everyone for your encouraging words. Anyone who tells you this adoption business is easy, is lying through their pearly white teeth! Will it be worth it in the end? I'm positive it will - but when will it end?

I'm just going to "talk" today, so I hope it makes sense.

I was at the bottom of the pit of despair yesterday and felt as if there were a lid on the pit, and a boulder on the lid and a lock and chain around the boulder. There was no light. Today, the lid is off and I've crawled up a tiny bit. I can see some light today.

I've already had another cry fest this morning. I told hubby that I feel like something really bad is about to happen or something really good. He says he just looks at it like this, "in two months we'll know something." End of story. On with life. I wish I could be more like that, but I can't. Maybe it's just the difference between men and women.

I know I am feeling this way because we are at this time of "a year ago" this and "a year ago" that. If V were home, these would be joyous "a year agoes" but since she is not home, they are extremely depressing "a year agoes."

In the words of encouragement you all gave me yesterday, many people have said that they consider me strong. I'm not. I'm a big wimp. I'm not strong at all as you can see from my despair yesterday. I know in my mind and in my heart that God is my strength, my only strength because in my human self I am so not strong.

In her blog, Deana shared the scripture Isaiah 40:27 "Why would you ever complain, O Jacob, or whine Israel, saying, "God has lost track of me. He doesn't care what happens to me"? Don't you know anything? Haven't you been listening? God doesn't come and go. God lasts. He's Creator of all you can see or imagine. He doesn't get tired out, doesn't pause to catch His breath. And He knows everything, inside and out. He energizes those who get tired, gives fresh strength to dropouts. For even young people tire and drop out, young folk in their prime stumble and fall. But those who wait upon God get fresh strength. They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don't get tired, they walk and don't lag behind."

I felt like a drop-out yesterday. There have been only two times in this adoption that I've really felt like quitting. Yesterday was the second of those times.

Many times people will say, "God won't give you any more than you can bear." That's not true, it's not in the Bible. If God never gave (or allowed) more than I can handle, then I wouldn't need Him. The twists and turns this adoption has taken are way more than I can handle. (***The scripture that people confuse is 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.)

Throughout the months of ups and downs in this adoption, I've cried out to God, shouted at Him, that if we are going down the wrong path to please let us know. But the peace is still there underneath all the pain of the waiting.

In this adoption journey I have to have a touchstone. A place where I can go back to and know that I know that I know that we are doing the right thing. These are my touchstones:

• (1) It goes back to D's adoption and the decision to step forward in that adoption. I heard the voice of God as close to audibly as I think I ever will. After over a year of going back and forth between hubby and me being ready to step forward, I was the one holding back. But on September 12, 2000 I heard God say in my soul, "It's time, your child is in Russia. Get started."
• (2) On our second trip, when we were in Moscow before we traveled to the region for D's court hearing, I heard Him again. We were walking down a side street in Moscow and again another very strong feeling/voice told me, "You'll be back." and I knew right then that our second child would also come from Russia. Since we've had D home, I've had two miscarriages and two private domestic adoptions fall through. Although those were all hard, I could understand that they weren't meant to be because I knew in my heart that our next child would come from Russia.
• (3) During the wait for V's referral I would look at the eight baby girls in our age parameters in the region on the Russian Databank website. I was drawn to the blurry picture of the little girl named V.S. I knew that it could be any one of the babies and I didn't obsess over this one child. I was just drawn to her every time. I really strongly figured it would be another little girl named Inna that we would be matched with out of all of them. But when our casemanager called with the referral, as soon as the V-sound came out of his mouth, I knew it was the same V that I'd seen all those months and I was full of peace knowing that it was her. When we went to the MOE for the official referral, when the director turned the computer screen for us to see her picture, it was the same picture I'd seen for 10 months.

It takes getting into the pit sometimes to appreciate joy. I'm usually a pretty joyful person. Even in my pit yesterday, I was remembering the scripture Psalm 30:5 . . ."weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

I couldn't get through this without my faith in God. I know that when I get down low in the pit, God hasn't walked away from me, I've walked away from Him.

This horrible wait makes no sense to me. It may never make sense. I know God's ways are not my ways. I also know that He is all powerful, and if He wanted to snap His fingers and make everything fall right in place for V to come home next week, He could. For some reason He has chosen not to do that (not for lack of my begging Him). But I know that He loves her even more than I do.

I'm climbing up, it stinks in the pit . . .