Russian Adoption DVA

Low

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Today has been a very down day. One of the worst I've had in the past 357 days..

Nothing in particular has happened to cause it (other than the accursed anniversary coming up so quickly). All I've wanted to do today is lie on the couch and cry. My house is a mess and my in-laws are coming to visit this weekend but I have no initiative to get up and clean it.

I've just been feeling a huge weight of hopelessness the last few days. I can't take much more.

Written at 3:52 PM by Suz.

17 comments

17 Comments:

Esther said...

I'm sorry. You and your family are in my prayers.

4:38 PM

Esther said...

ps..I can relate as ZsaZsa is not here....it's been 10 months since I've seen her.

I try to put it out of my mind, but I know I'll never forget. Even adopting another child will not replace her.

Alot of people don't get it. Even family. Seems to me that folks in the adoption world are of the best support and motivation during these periods. The rest of the people I know don't know what it's like to have their child stranded on the other side of the world, for months or years at that.

Be gentle with yourself. Treat yourself well. Pamper yourself. Love yourself. Let the feelings come & don't stuff them. You have every right to feel the way you do.

Hang in there sweet lady! Know your family loves you and many more care about you ;o)

4:43 PM

Deb said...

Wow! Esther said it all so well. I can't give you much encouragement since I've not been there. But I am praying for you, hubby and D. It's been an awful journey for you and as Esther said you have the right to feel the way you do. Don't worry about your in-laws. I would think they understand.
Thinking of you.
{{{HUGS}}}

5:14 PM

Lisa said...

"...these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly,steadily, surely, the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, do not despair, for these things will surely come to pass. Just be patient! They will not be overdue a single day!" Habukkuk 2:2-3

This is my favorite verse these days. I just read it over and over.

It just all gets so overwhelming at times, ESPECIALLY the parts that are totally out of our control.

I'm sorry you had a crappy day and I hope tomorrow is better.

Lisa

5:38 PM

Jenni said...

I'm sorry you are feeling so low. You have more than enough reason to be down, but I hope that you are feeling more positive soon. Hang in there, and like Esther said, do something nice for yourself. You certainly deserve it!

5:51 PM

Melissa said...

((hugs)) to you, Suz. I'm sorry you're feeling so down...I think that sometimes, we have to let ourselves have a total pity-party-day! Hang in there...we will be praying for y'all!!!

6:14 PM

Elle said...

I'm sorry you are feeling this way sweetheart. I know the pain all too well. It is ok to feel that way. You could always do what I do in these situations... instruct the husband to find the biggest bottle of wine the store carries. Works for me.

7:20 PM

Rachael said...

Suz, you are an incredibly strong woman to have made it this far in your journey with sanity still intact. Keep hoping and praying, as many people in this world are doing the same on your behalf.

7:31 PM

Carrie said...

(((Hugs))) Hsng in there honey! I'm thinking of you today.

7:40 PM

6blessings said...

I am soooooo sorry for you. I wish that I could take care of it all for you. Every day I pray for a quick accreditation and that you are the first one on the list with a court date. Hang in there!

9:43 PM

U.N. Mama said...

I would think your inlaws are coming to see ya'll and not the house. Take it easy on yourself :o)

12:28 AM

Maggie said...

Oh Suz, you're allowed to have down days for no reason. Sometimes it just backs up on you. Let yourself be sad, that's just human. But the good thing is after every down moment, you'll find a new surge of strength. Every time I think I'm just done with this whole thing, every time I miss Peanut so much it hurts, I somehow find a new well of strength to keep me going. I don't know where it comes from, but I know you have an inner well of strength. Your one of the strongest people I know.

6:04 AM

Allison said...

I'm sending good thoughts and prayers your way. The wait can seem unbearable. Feel crappy if you want and don't beat yourself about it. Here's to better days ahead.

7:39 AM

Chris Goeppner said...

Hey Suz,
I've been feeling the same way lately. I'll be praying that God will you give you a peace that surpasses all understanding.
-Penny

2:46 PM

A Room to Grow said...

hope you are feeling better today.

3:01 PM

Lauri said...

hugs

3:19 PM

Melissa said...

So sorry you are down. I cant imagine what you must be going through, not being able to get your daughter in such a long time.

6:03 PM