Today I want to talk about the very first time you meet your child-to-be.

First of all, congratulations to Joe and Dawn as they met their little boy, Stephen, for the first time!

Dawn wrote, "He seems so tiny compared to the pictures we have seen."

I think nearly every adoptive parent has this revelation. Seeing them in pictures and actually holding them in real life is so different! Don't be surprised when they are so much smaller than you'd imagined - expect it! Then, too, they will most likely be dressed in layers and layers and layers of clothes - so just wait till you unpeel them from all those layers and see what's really going on under there! A great way to discreetly "check them out" is to bring some clothes to try on them in order to gauge their size. Bring a pair or two of shoes in different sizes as well, then leave them for the baby home to use for the children.

There has been a discussion on FRUA chat lately about the first meeting and some things to bring to break the ice with the child. Many people have brought Cheerios or Gerber fruit puffs. I brought fruit puffs on our first visit with V, however we've never been allowed to feed the children any outside food in the orphanage (not with D's adoption or V's). But it doesn't hurt to take them just in case, it doesn't hurt to ask. Feeding the child is a terrific way to initiate bonding and trust. We have been allowed to feed both girls during our first trips, but it has always been food provided by the baby home. I'm absolutely positive that the experience of being fed by their Mama and Papa to-be is MUCH different than the way they are usually fed - much slower!

The toys that you bring should be of many different textures and sensory stimulators. You may think that keys and rattles and teething rings would be too "young" for a toddler, but these children have probably not been exposed to many toys and you'll be surprised that some of these more babyish toys are some of their favorites. They may be scared of toys that make music or any other electronic sounds. But then again, some are absolutely enthralled - so bring one or two. Try many different things. Stacking cups are super, I think all babies and toddlers will love them. A small inflatable ball is a great idea and very easy to pack. In order to help V remember us, we took these toys all in a really bright backpack (it is an old NickJr backpack with the Face character). It is very visually stimulating. Even though it had been a long time in between trips, I really think V remembered that backpack.

Take as many pictures as you possibly can. Video is great too, but pictures are more readily looked at once you are home and waiting for the second trip. We just turned on the video camera and set it up in a corner of the small room we were playing in and just left it there during our visits. So we have some weird shots in there, but most are great and we didn't have to worry about it.

Take a blanket to spread on the floor to play on. D likes to look back at the pictures of us playing with her in the baby home and see her familiar blankets in that setting and now at home too. It's good anyhow to have that clean surface to sit around while you're playing.

V was very interested in the little book we took. It is a vinyl One Fish, Two fish book that is really meant to be played with in the bathtub. She loved looking at the pictures, turning pages and pointing to the pictures. These are all developmental marker "tests" as well as fun for the child.

Bring a flexible measuring tape that is at least 36 inches (or longer than the child you are adopting). It is good to take some measurements for yourself. Measure the head circumferance and the child's length.

TAKE A DISPOSABLE CAMERA to leave between trips. I could kick myself a bazillion times for forgetting this on our first trip! I missed 7 months of V's life. I took a camera in October when we visited and had the instructions translated into Russian and taped to the camera. I hope that there are many pictures on there when we return.

It is one of the most wonderful moments of your life when you first meet that child. You can never be fully prepared for the feelings and events that will happen on that day, but it is good to be as prepared as possible.

**Please feel free to add any other first meeting suggestions in the comments section.