How D is doing --- Girls -vs- Boys --- New House
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Several of you have asked how D is doing with everything. She's doing wonderfully, resiliently well from what we can tell. It is always un-nerving for her to see Mommy cry, so once the first few days passed, and I wasn't crying as much, she seemed less "on edge."

She was just barely 5 when we met Viktoria in Russia and she really remembered her only as being a baby. When we got the new picture from the data-bank a couple months ago, she didn't even know who that girl was. It was hard for her to wrap her mind around the fact that it was Viktoria, growing up. 17 months is a long time to US, it must be an eternity to her. She just wants a sister.

I think Viktoria was more of a thought to her at this point than "real." We've kept the lines of communication open with her, telling her if she wants to talk about Viktoria it's completely ok. Or if she has ANY questions that it's ok to ask - any time. She has amazed me how well she is handling it.

On the topic of requesting a girl or boy referral. This is tough for me! I've ALWAYS pictured having two girls. From the time I was little. Of course that is probably because I am one of two girls and that's all I know.

I have three nephews that I love as dearly as if they were my own sons. I love them to pieces and always have. But for my own child/ren, I've always had a dream of girls. Two girls. Not three or six. Two.

Actually, my "two girls" dream has an alternate version. I've always thought, "I want two girls. Then if a third child happened to enter the equation, it can be a boy - no problem." But I want two girls! How do you change a lifelong desire?? Especially one that you never realized was so deeply ingrained?

Hubby and I talked this over today a great deal at lunch. He says he will truly be fine with another girl. But I will also keep praying and considering switching to being open to a girl OR boy.

I've thought too, like someone commented, that we can be open to a sibling group of a boy and girl. But our homestudy would have to be changed and our I-171H would have to be changed too.

New House? What's up with that? Well, the month after we got home from meeting Viktoria (April '06), we found out that a church member was wanting to sell some land. So - we had planned that once Viktoria got home we'd proceed with building a new house. We're kind of outgrowing our present house. Who knew little kids take up so much room! We were on hold with that not wanting to change everything up in the middle of Viktoria's adoption with a difficult region and all. Well, now that we'll be virtually "starting over" we are going to go ahead with our plans. The market in our area is hot right now and houses are selling like crazy at greatly appreciated prices. While new construction is still super reasonable (about $60-$65 per square foot!) So, even if our house sells in a week and we have to live in a mobile home for a few months, we'll be ok per our agency rep. So we are quite excited about this dream that has been on hold for over a year. We're meeting with our realtor friend in the morning to see what she thinks we can ask for our house and what updates she thinks we should make for the best profit.
Blogger Lisa said...
That's wonderful about the house plans!! Congratulations!

For what it's worth, I say go for the boy/girl sibling set! Now is a really good time for you to ask the agency to give you a HUGE break on the fees for the third child, with what you've been through. And you'll save lots of money on the travel doing two at once versus two more separate adoptions. And you're going to be re-doing lots of paperwork anyway, so what's a couple more items on the list?!

I'm so glad to see you be ready to consider your options for the future. God bless!

Blogger Mom to 2 Angels said...
I just wanted to post to say I was following your story and I am so sorry for your loss. Your family is in my prayers. I totally understand the boy/girl dilemma. Go with your heart!

Blogger Tricia said...
wow, the new house plan sounds exciting.

i know what you mean about wanting two girls. i'm kind of having a hard time sticking to my plan... mainly the guilt. it's hard to justify to others who have their children biologically our preference for two girls... since they can't control things but through adoption we can to some extent.

Blogger kaymommy said...

God will give you the child that HE wants you to have, keep you mind open to that. If God wants to fulfill your dream of two girls then it could happen. But you might be pleasantly surprised how a boy will shake up your family!

I'm glad that you are going ahead with the house now. It will totally change your focus for a while. You'be been on the 'adoption' ride for a long long time.

Give your sweet D a hug for me! ;)

Blogger Chelley said...
how exciting on the house!! Would you plan the house from the start or is it buy off the plan???????

Think of all the desions you get to make carpets and tiles and wall colours how GREAET would that be to have EVERYTHING the way you WANT!!!

Blogger JennStar said...
That's so exciting! And will be a wonderful distraction during any waiting that you may have in the adoption area in the future. My husband is a home builder and it's great fun to watch a home start from a piece of land to the lock on the front door.
I understand your dilemma. I felt the same way about my 2 boys. I am blessed to have them and they were my hearts desire, but I know that if one or both of them had been a girl, I wouldn't want anything but that. But what you know at this moment is your hearts desire. God knows it too. Keep praying and He will guide you on this one! He promises!

Blogger A Special Family said...
So glad you have a plan coming forward!

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